Friday, February 23, 2007
Back in the Saddle
Shortly after posting "Who Needs a Man" I am posting about dating. I'm a complicated woman who tends to make contradicting choices. I am still terribly sad about Pete, I miss him more and more every day. But I am also lonely. So when opportunity arises I have a hard time making the decision that would be best for my mental state. I had my first date since the breakup last night, and it was nice. I can't tell if the fact that I felt nothing was from a general lack of chemistry or from the fact that I'm going to compare everyone to Pete for a while. Either way, it's probably a sign that I should stay away from dating for a while. But I have a hard time saying no when I nice boy shows interest. I have determined I may possibly be the most insecure person in the world, and having someone think I'm special enough to want to date is like a drug for me. Do you think there's rehab for that kind of shit?
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4 comments:
The first guy you'll go on a date with will make you feel a little better; the second one might trigger your curiosity; the third one, you will wonder if there is a possibility of someone just as good yet different after all. It might even be the same guy, in three-four dates. Bottom line: you've got to give these guys a chance.
You're probably right. My girlfriends would probably agree with you, but insist that it's best that I wait a little longer before entering the dating world again. Their fear is that I don't deal with being alone very well and so I just jump to the next guy. They are right about that. But, like I said, it's hard to say no when someone shows interest.
The dating world sucks.
You go on dates with guys that you have nothing in common with or that you feel no chemistry with. Then you are put in the uncomfortable position of letting that person know, while at the same time feeling extremely discouraged of "what's left out there". This in return screws up your dating Karma.
Then there is the situation where you do meet a wonderful guy but "he's the one" that doesn't feel anything in return.
blah!
Sincerly complain-elaine
sorry I'm being a negative jerk
The other problem that I have is that I want so badly for "the one" to come along that I try to make every guy "the one". And, since I am still single, obviously they have not been "the one." I really don't want to date anymore. I can't just enjoy being single because I take no pleasure from flippant encounters with random men. I don't care if I never have a first kiss again, or if I never get to have sex with someone new again. The comfort and passion of being with someone you truly love is way better.
I always struggle with being okay with being alone. I don't mind being alone, I can keep myself busy and entertained. I just miss the wonderful feeling of loving and being loved. This is what I think I'm addicted to.
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