Calgary, AB to Hope, BC

Going to California with an aching, in my heart (Zepplin)

Mom and I hit the road at about 8:15 this morning after a tearful goodbye and a last look at my first condo. With the morning light shining the city looked beautiful as I drove down Memorial Dr for the last time as a Calgarian.

Our first stop was at the Spiral Tunnels on the Kicking Horse Pass, something I had never actually seen before. As we came up to the pass I saw a train was on its way so we pulled in to the viewpoint/interpretive center and watched it descend through the tunnels. It was really something to see, a great Canadian engineering feat.

Next we took a drive up to Takkakaw Falls. I always get a kick out of the road that goes up there, with the switchbacks basically going up a cliff. I was hoping to see a bus pull it off but no such luck today. Once at Takkakaw Falls we did the short walk to the best viewpoint and took some pictures.

From there it was pretty much straight driving until we got to Hope, BC where we grabbed some groceries before finding a campsite for the night. We are now at Wild Rose Campground, wasting time before an early turn-in. I’ll keep you updated as to how Mom handled camping for the first time in over 20 years. My next post may be from a hotel.

(I'll add photos later, my connection is slow)

Bummer

The woman who conditionally bought my place backed out of the deal, so it's back on the market. It's only been back on the market for 2 days but haven't had anyone come through yet so I'm starting to get really nervous. My stress level just went through the roof again. Here's the listing.

Going, Going, GONE!

So, I sold my house! I never even got to see it on MLS, I listed last night and the first person to look at it made and offer I couldn't refuse. She takes possession on August 31, whereupon I will drive to California and start my brand new life. Holy crap!

The Times They Are A-Changin'

I signed the papers today and my condo will officially be on the market as of tomorrow. I'll put up the MLS link when I get it. The "just listed" sign is out front now, and I cried a little bit when I saw it. I guess this is really happening! Scary and so exciting all at the same time.

Pangs

Of sadness. Every time I think of leaving Calgary I get really sad. I know that it will be a wonderful opportunity to go to California, but I am going to have a really hard time leaving. It makes me want to cry. I'm sure the last few weeks before I leave will be quite messy. I hope that people will come and visit me there.

Back in the Saddle

Shortly after posting "Who Needs a Man" I am posting about dating. I'm a complicated woman who tends to make contradicting choices. I am still terribly sad about Pete, I miss him more and more every day. But I am also lonely. So when opportunity arises I have a hard time making the decision that would be best for my mental state. I had my first date since the breakup last night, and it was nice. I can't tell if the fact that I felt nothing was from a general lack of chemistry or from the fact that I'm going to compare everyone to Pete for a while. Either way, it's probably a sign that I should stay away from dating for a while. But I have a hard time saying no when I nice boy shows interest. I have determined I may possibly be the most insecure person in the world, and having someone think I'm special enough to want to date is like a drug for me. Do you think there's rehab for that kind of shit?

Perspective

So go, and be kind
You have Love on your side
Born to a family with food in their belly
And a car for them to drive
People sleeping on the concrete
Still smile behind their signs
So go now be happy
And be free
You have so much time

-Xavier Rudd

No Fitting Title

I thought it was meant to be.

The story book beginning, the "how we met" story that makes people say wow and that you can't wait to tell your grandchildren.

The difficult romance that spanned a border.

"Wow, that must be hard!" people would say, and I'd say, "Yeah, it really is, but I love him so it's worth it!"

"He's really great," people would say, and I'd say "yeah, and I'm so lucky to have him!"

"I love you to pieces," he'd say, and I'd say "I love you more than you could imagine!"

But then he said, "I don't think this is the right thing for me." And it all came crashing down.

I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, and I don't know where to go from here.